Friday, May 13, 2011

Return of the "bad dog"....

You know the song, "Summertime and the livin is easy" I just changed the lyrics to "Spring is here and the Dals are crazy". I think it has something to do with being cooped up in the winter and finally allowed to run and play and knock old people over. Lotto and I are the 2 old people here and yes, we've both been knocked on our butts by a Dalmatian moving like a freight train at full speed who isn't looking at where they are going. This is usually attributed to Sunfire because he is the youngest, fastest and brainless. Okay, those of you who don't own Dals may not understand this, but I'm sure there is an equivalent in other breeds. Those of you who own Dals, especially male Dals, will  be nodding their heads in agreement. Male Dals, especially those still intact, do not even approach growing a brain until around 5 years old. Until that time they are big, powerful, brainless goobers. Sunfire is not quite 3 years old yet so this definitely applies to him. I have been out walking with Lotto, the rest scream past at about 90 mph. Sunfire is always torn between wanting to run as fast as he can for as long as possible and being with mama. So in his brainless way, he combines the two to come up with running at mama at about 90 and not putting on any brakes and not jumping any hurdles. Okay, back to the walk. Lotto and I are walking up the road to the mailbox and the 4 others (not Sunny) at running like a pack of thoroughbreds and heading into the second turn when Sunfire sees mama and Lotto on the other side of the creek. You can see he is having a hard time making a decision but in the end the big old wussy mama's boy wins out and he comes scre4aming back towards us. I'm hollering at Lotto who is in front of me and sniffing a pile of poop to move, more like "MOVE, MOVE, MOVE" and she is ignoring me. So here comes Sunfire with his eyes on me and oblivious to anything else in his path. Sunfire is solid muscle and bone and about 60 pounds. He literally mows down Lotto and tumbles her on his way to me. Meanwhile I move out of the way at the last second because I've been where Lotto is and because if you move too early, he will correct his path of destruction. As he goes past me he remembers to stop and it doesn't hurt that I'm hollering at him at the top of my lungs to "STOP". Meanwhile, Lotto is getting to her feet and looking a little disoriented. However, ever since that incident when she hears me holler "MOVE" she does, quickly and far away from me. Sunfire's idea of affection are big paw hugs. This is where he wraps his front paws around your arm or legs, whichever is closer and tries to drag you off. Sometimes he will even "mouth" your hand while dragging your leg or grab a mouthful of hair to tug on if he has your arm. I told you, he is a large puppy, a very strong, lovable affectionate puppy.!

I bring all this up about male Dals not growing a brain until 5 to possibly explain an incident that happened 2 days ago. When we moved up here I wanted to eat better and also being on a limited income, I had given up eating meat, However, once a carnivore, always a carnivore. I was grocery shopping and I smelled what distinctly identified as a hamburger. That was it. All my willpower was exhausted and I snagged a pound of hamburger before I hit the checkout. Okay, Okay, I also got some breakfast sausages and a KitKat too. I confess, I added a diet Coke at the last minute. Well I blew my "all water" part of the diet too. Anyway, there was no guilt to be found, only anticipation of a juicy hamburger with chips (did I forget to mention them?) I came home and fed the Doos in some fantasy idea that they would leave me alone. Right! I started to prepare my burger by cutting the pound of ground chuck in half and putting the other half in the freezer. If you are going to have a burger, it needs to be a greasy one. I was frying the burger with all the appropriate spices on it, also known as the "men's basic 4 spices" that go on everything, salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion salt. and sauteing onion on the side. Now I am a burger purist. I don't want a garden salad on my burger, just cheese, sauteed onions and mustard. I had forgotten to buy buns, so I was using 2 slices of bread. My bread was laying open side by side with the hamburger, cheese and onions on one slice and mustard on the second. I turned slightly to the left to get a paper towel and all I saw was this blur. What an athlete. Here came SunfireDoos were looking at each other like "Oooh is he in trouble". None of them have ever stolen any food while I was right there before. Well there was one time that Mira snagged a chip from my plate and ate it joyfully while looking at me like "you end want it back now that I've slobbered on it??" But we all know that Mira "ain't quite right".

After about 30 minutes I let him out again. They don't remember what they've done at that point. Of course all the other Doos were right there to remind him. I was working at the computer and here comes Sunfire sidling up to me with this look of total regret on his face or maybe it was fear of death. Anyway, he is tentatively mouthing my elbow very gently and I turn to look at him and say' "what?". Now the dogs and I have conversations all the time. They have very expressive faces and I talk and make up what they are saying, but somehow it always seems pretty close. He looked at me with total love on his face as if to say "I love you mom". I replied, "you ate my hamburger". His response surprised me, he said "No, I didn't it wasn't me". I replied that I saw him and he told me his version of the theft. He said that as he was sitting there being a good boy, not trying to drag mama away, and this other dog ran past him and stole the hamburger and ran into his crate. He told me that the other dog looks just like him and that maybe it was Sunny. Nice try but Sunny had been in his crate, He then told me the other dog's name was Sunfire, too. Now that was stretching it a little. I said, okay, let me get this straight, there is another dog in this house who looks just like you and his name is also Sunfire? All the Doos were agreeing. I could hear in the background murmurs and whispers of "the bad dog". Now the "bad dog" was a fictional dog that lived with us when the Doos were all younger and would do bad stuff and then the Doos would get blamed for it. Every bad thing that happened was because of "the bad dog". We hadn't seem him around for awhile, I just assumed he got bored and moved on. But evidently, "HE'S BACK!" I looked at Sunfire and said "right!", at which prompt he grabbed my arm with his paws, yanked a hunk of hair on my head and tried to pull me out of my chair. He did calm down a little when I threatened to kill him first and then go looking for the bad dog.

Alright, I know this is long and it's going to get longer, so either come back to it later or go pee now. For those of you who are troopers and will staunchly carry on, let's go. Because of the incident with Sunfire bowling over Lotto, she now goes out with Sunny when he goes. This works out good for her because he goes for long walks or runs and usually comes back an hour or so later. Sunny used to go out with Mira but that's like letting 2 psychos out together and they just fed off of each other. Now Mira goes out with Sunfire, Riggins and Siren. The three of them keep her in check, not that it does any good. Her latest thing is to go up to the Yorkies storm door and and do the crazy dog thing while they in turn snarl and bark at her feeling safe because of the door. God help us if that door ever gives way,  there will be some shittin and gittin Yorkies with the Tasmanian devil in hot pursuit.

Sunny has always been very protective of Lotto and usually they hang around together and have for all their lives together. At first it was a wonderful love story, like Pongo and Perdita in 101 Dalmatians but 3 litters later and several years it's become more like Fred and Ethel Mertz in I Love Lucy. Like I said, we have conversations. They do too, especially Sunny and Lotto. They hang out together on the bed or where ever and you can hear them grumbling at each other and then an occasional lip lift and finally one will turn their back on the other. The day after the burger incident they had been out together and here comes Sunny galloping up the drive without Lotto. So here he comes all smiles and prancing. He gets about 20 feet from me and I ask him, "where's Lotto?". Now he does know what this means. He stops and gives me a look that says "Who's Lotto?" I tell him she's that short pudgy little female Dalmatian that you left with. He starts looking around and then sticks his nose in the air and after a second he takes back off in the direction he came from. About 2 minutes later, Both Lotto and Sunny come trotting up the drive. I'm fussing at Sunny on the way into the yard that he shouldn't just leave Lotto that she could get lost or something bad could happen. Later on, the two of them are hanging out on the bed and your can hear them begin to talk. Sunny asked Lotto where she had been when he came home. He said "one minute you were there and the second you're gone". She told him that she had been right where he left her when he ran off. He asked her what had happened the other day with Sunfire and the burger, so she filled him in but when she got to the "bad dog" part Sunny let out one loud bark which translates to "Bulls_ _t!, and she believed him!!" Lotto shrugged. Sunny said "that's why I hate that little asshole, he gets away with everything". Lotto replied "He's your son" and Sunny said, "Don't start again!" After a few moments of silence, Sunny said "You know, we're gonna have to start looking after that one". Lotto asked, "Sunfire?" and Sunny said, "No, the old one, she gets crazier every day. Did you hear her out there hollering when the asshole knocked you down, like you're supposed to understand MOVE and now this bad dog BS". Lotto said, "She's your human, you take care of her". Sunny said, "wait a minute, you were here before I was". Lottie shrugged and said "someday, she's going to go out with you and your going to leave HER someplace and then she will be gone and who's gonna hunt for kibble then, you??, you couldn't hunt down a lame Yorkie!". Sunny gave her an indignant look and said, "Kiss my spotted ass". Lotto gave him a disgusted look and replied "pick the spot you're all ass, no pun intended". At that point there was a little bit of lip lifting and a very quiet growl. Lotto turned facing away from Sunny with her butt close to his face and farts....

I forgot Lotto.......

In my mama dog tribute, I forgot about Lotto in my haste to publish. Please don't tell Lotto, she'll send Mira after me and we all know what a nasty little ankle biter she is. Okay, Lotto is the mother of all the Doo's with the exception of Sunfire whose aunt is also his mother and yes that was a planned breeding. Lotto still thinks he's hers though, she thinks any group or single puppies who come in this house must be her's because she's never seen anyone else in the house deliver pups so by default they must be hers.

Lotto's first litter was an experience. As with most first time mothers, she wasn't sure what was going on with that first puppy but Mother Nature soon kicks in and she was delivering those pups like she had done this all her life. Now Lotto is a fairly calm dog and usually isn't in a huge rush to do anything except go for a ride or eat cookies and this carried over to whelping (birthin' pups). There was at least an hour between pups and 5 hours between the next to the last puppy and Riggins. Riggins was born in his own good time and has done everything else in his own good time ever since and dancing to his own music.

Sunny, who is the puppy's father was facinated by them and wanted to spend all his time with them in the whelping box. Of course that didn't go over well with Lotto and she would chase him away and bite him on his nose. That's a dominance thing with Lotto, when she wants to exert her place with anyone else she bites them on the nose. She even does that to me, but she doesn't bite down, just holds my nose in her mouth.


At some time during the first week of the pups life, Sunny hatched a plan to steal one of the pups for himself. He waited until Lotto went out for a potty break and went into the room that the puppies box was in. I saw him come out with something in his mouth and run into his crate facing the back. He opened his mouth and very gently let a puppy out and licked it and then laid his head down on it when Lotto came back. He definately underestimated Lotto's ability to count. She went into the room, came flying back out ran straight to his crate climbed in snarled and bit him on the head, took her puppy in her mouth and took it back to her box. After about 20 seconds, long enough to determine the pup was alright, she came tearing back and into Sunny's crate and tore him a new a_ _hole!! Sunny has never tried to steal another pup since.

As I said before, Lotto seems to think that whenever a pup or litter comes in the house, they must be hers. This has led to some amusing incidents. During my time working with Dal rescue, I've even fostered some litters or individual pups. Now all the other Doo's seem to get it, these little guys are here to stay until they are old enough to be adopted. Not Lotto. The scene usually goes like this. I will bring the litter or singleton home and set them up in a whelping box or a puppy playpen. At some point Lotto will come to see what I am doing and she always has this suprised look on her face. She will look at the pup(s) then at me then the pups and back at me etc. etc. I will hold the pup near her to let her sniff it and she will and usually lick it too. At sometime during the next hour she decides that these (this) pup is hers and takes up the roll of "mom". She doesn't nurse them but will hang out if they are bottle fed if need be. She will keep them clean, safe and let them run all over her and stay with them. I'm not sure if she really thinks they are hers or if she understands that she is a foster but she is a good mom anyway.

Now in the case of Sunfire, he came home at 4 months old. She treated him as if he was one of her pups and swhortly after, let him know his "puppy pass" had expired. She still treats him as she does Riggins, Siren and Mira and he treats her the way they do, with a lot of respect. If you could have seen her tear into Sunny over that pup, you would understand where Mira gets it from. Lottie is my all time favorite mother dog. She stays calm (except for that one case) and never gets her fur ruffled by a litter of pups. That's like giving birth to 6 to 8 kids at one time and raising them by yourself, NO thanks.....

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

And a Happy Mother's Day to You.....

I just had the crap scared out of me, I couldn't find the blog. After you pass 60 you should never have more than one email account. I have two, actually three if you caount my work. So that is two accounts I can't remember anything about. I am forever changing my password because that's the only way I can access my accounts. I need to have the information tatooed under my boobs. I have 2 of them, they hang very low and I probably wouldn't lose the info that way. It's something to think about. But then I'd probably forget where I left them and wouldn't remember until I shower, but would forget again by the time I got out and dried. As clarification, I'm talking about losing my information, not my boobs.

Well Mother's Day has passed and I have wished all the Mother's I know, a happy day. When talking about mothers, I have known some exceptional dog moms in my life. In honor of them I dedicate this posting to three of them. These three are all related to my dogs, but not to each other. One is a great grandmother, the next is a grandmother and the third is the mother of the Doos. I'm talking about Starlet, an incredible diva, Millie, my very best dog friend and of course Lotto. These three ladies have produced some incredibly beautiful show dogs, some dedicated clowns, some fruitloops and goobers but overall the most loving and affectionate spots around.

I will start with Miss Starlet. She is the "Grande Dame" of the whole group. Starlet was a sweet little little liver girl with more attitude than any other three dogs could have. the best description I ever heard of Starlet was that she walked like she was wearing high heels. We blame, uh I mean credit Starlie with some of the strangest traits that keep popping up in this bloodline. Starlet was the original "hat". There have been several since, including Sunny. What do I mean by a hat? Just that, she likes to perch on your head with her feet dangling either on your ears or in your eyes. Now Starlie was a petite little girl and it wasn't a neck crushing experience. However, Sunny is about 68 pounds now. Luckily he gave up this habit at about 20-25 pounds. However, unlike girl dogs whose underside is neatly tucked away, with the boys, you are just as likely to wind up with a set of balls resting on your nose. A strange experience to say the least.




Starlet was Sunny's great grandmother. This dog should have gotten the academy award several times for some of the performances she put on. The first time I saw Starlet in full blown drama, I was amazed and very impressed. My friend Julia (Starlett and Millies mom) and I were going to a dog show. We had all the dogs riding in crates in the back of her van. When we stopped for a break, Starlie started with this soft little whine which broke my heart. Now Starlie had this perpetually little sad face and combine that with the little whine. I felt bad about leaving her in the van. I also thought my friend was unbelievably cruel for not responding. I tried to make her feel better by talking to her, but no luck, as a matter of a fact she started cranking up the act from there. The next embellishment. was to lower her head and look up with her eyes and whine. She then began to shake all over. I thought the dog was having a seizure! She next started licking her lips in the most pathetic way and finally topped that all off with raising one little paw as if to say, "I'm just a small dog, help me!". I was ready to dash in and save her, but Julia told her to knock it off and closed the van door. I was convinced that we would come back to a dog who died of a broken heart. Julia told me to look in the window and see what Starlet was doing. Starlet was sitting in her crate with this look on her face that said "Shit, they didn't buy it".
she let out a sigh and layed down for a nap.

My second and most favorite story about Starlet happened again on the road for a dog show. We had 9 dogs with us and believe me that was a whole nother' story in itself. We had pups, young dogs, champions and one very pregnant Starlet! Now before you think we're crazy, let me tell you that at no time would we ever have chosen to take that many dogs on the road, but a family emergency left us no choice. As I said, Starlet was a petite little girl, but she knew how to pack those puppies in there. She looked like a cantalope on feet. She was so round and dragging that her feet were the only part of her legs that you could see. When she sat down, one of her front and rear legs was in the air and she could only rest on the other two. She sat in the front seat with me, moaning the whole time as if to say, "God, I am so uncomfortable". We finally made it to the motel and got all the dogs in and pottied etc and even got Starlet up on one of the beds with us, moaning and groaning the whole time, resting on two legs. She did perk up a little when she heard us discussing ordering a pizza. Well at least she stopped moaning for a minute, Pizza is her favorite food.Now at dog show motels, there is always a lot of activity going on in the hallways and outside. About 20 minutes later Starlet launches herself off the bed like Rocky the Flying Squirrel and was at the door by the time we heard a light knock. She was blocking the door and her entire body is wagging. Her eyes were the size of saucers and her whole body language was saying,"PIZZA, HURRY UP, I'M HUNGRY, PIZZA". She also beat us back to the bed and up on it. Her eyes were locked on the box and it was only by quick thinking that we stopped her from helping herself as the box was opened. Of course she got her share, and some of ours too!. She spent the night sleeping with Julia snoring, farting and burping, but very happy. My take from this is never get between a hungry, pregnant dog and a hot pizza. Injury could occur here and I'm not talking about the dog!

Starlet is no longer with us, she is waiting at the Bridge and undoubtably hogging all the pizza delivered up there. Save a piece for us.

The second mama dog I want to tell you about is Millie. She is my very best dog friend in the whole world. She is a lovely graceful  black and white lady with one brown and one very beautiful blue eye. I tell Sunfire that he got his beautiful blue eye from great grandma Millie. Millie is Sunny's grandmother. She doesn't have any of those strange habits that some of the others in the line do. To this day, Sunny will lay on the bed (his back half), lay his front half on the back of my chair at the computer and rest his head on my head and occasionally lick my eyes. This is the more updated version of "the hat". Millie is a princess and carries herself as such. She is incredibly friendly and loves to give kisses and paw hugs. When we decided to go to dog shows, Millie would get in the van and you couldn't have dislodged her with a hand grenade. She loved to ride in the seat with me and we would always share food on the trips. I remember one time Julia's mom made these incredible chicken salads with chunks of chicken and hard boiled eggs as well as broccoli and other good stuff. Millie was a perfect lady when she was sharing your food. If you did that with some of the Doos, you could lose a couple of fingers. She would sit there politely until she was invited and then she would gently pick a piece out for herself. This particular chicken salad was great. Millie was helping herself to the chicken and the egg. She would give me a look as if to say, I know you really like the broccoli and crackers, so I'm saving them for you and would take a piece of chicken for herself. Now I know some of you are saying, yuk, sharing a dish with a dog! But you would have to know Millie, she wasn't your average snuffling goobering slobbering in your dish dog, she gently chooses and takes a piece of chicken for herself, selflessly saving the broccoli for me. I miss those times of riding and sharing food with her. We have both become too old to ride to dog shows in vans stuffed to the roof with dogs.

Miss Millie is a princess in everything she does. She has given birth to some really great dogs, three at a time. Millie would never allow herself to become a large moaning mass. At each litter, she presented three pups. For her grand finale, she really outdid herself and had four. She was an incredibly loving mother and took great care of her babies. One of the funniest  stories I have is about Millie and two litters of pups. At this one particular time, Millie had a litter of 3 and Lotto had had a litter of 5. They were 5 weeks old and we had taken all eight of the pups to have their hearing tested. When we got back, Millie was in the yard and we turned all the pups lose in the yard with her. Her three pups ran over to her and began nursing. Lotto's five saw that and ran up to her too and started nursing. There stood Millie with all eight pups hanging from her and nursing away and she  was all calm and cool about it, the princess and the herd with teeth!












 I