Here at last....

This story begins at the end. I'm a senior citizen to be politically correct, also known as an old fart, fogey etc. But the beginning for me started 40 years ago when as a woman in my early 20's I took off a year from college, got divorced and went on a quest to find myself. You know all that '70s stuff. I wound up in the Blue Ridge mountains of my native Virginia. Some of the most important things I learned there was the value of solitude, the beauty of nature and that government cheese lasts forever. I don't know what they put in that stuff but it doesn't get moldy or hard and isn't bad when melted. But I digress .  I didn't find myself there. I didn't realize that I was too young and there was nothing to find. I always promised myself that I would find a way to get back to that beauty and solitude. Forty years later I amassed an impressive resume, an interesting life, a lot of baggage and six Dalmatians who collectively are known as the Doo's. 


It was during a particularly trying time that I happened on this house on the top of a mountain with a creek and solitude and the wonderful mountain air. I knew we had found our home and this was one I could cross of my bucket list. Long story short, we are here....

One other bit of useless information is that the Doos and I are truly a pack. A pack in terms, of canines, is a group that lives and works together for the good of the pack and is governed by rules of heirachy. In the wild, a pack is usually made up of animals that are related. This is true of our pack too. Now with all the other BS out of the way, let me introduce you to the cast of characters (and they are characters, and clowns and the loves of my life)

Mama (62 yrs): This is me, the human. I like to think of myself as the pack leader. I'm not sure the Doos agree but they put up with me and consider me an "honorary" Dalamatian even if I don't have beautiful fur, sharp teeth and run like a wounded wart hog. They do consider me the kibble hunter and the kibble giver which is an extremely high position in the pack. They are amazed at my ability to leave the pack in that machine and return with all sorts of food and gigantic bags of kibble and goodies. I am also very generous in that I share my "kill" with them. As long as I do this I will remain the top of the food chain. The alternative is that relinquish my seniority and rely on what they kill and share. Having lived with these creatures, I know that they consider something dead and rotting as a "goodie" and that they have brought me offerings of headless and wingless birds not to mention the number of animal and reptile parts that they proudly wanted to share. 


Sunny (8 yrs): A beautiful black and white male who is the Alpha dog and is the father of four of the other Doos. He is also a clown, a nosey busybody, never met a stranger and is in tune to the fact that all humans want to be kissed and slobbered on by him while he rests all 63 pounds of himself in their lap. He once told a dog psychic that he thought people were "inefficient" and somewhat ugly. We didn't run fast and we had no fur or teeth (like his I'm assuming). Sunny is the leading man in several notorious "Sunny stories", such as "the panty king". But I digess again. I do that alot. Sunny pretty much runs the pack. I tell someone to do something and they look at him to check it out. Luckily, he is very benevolent and usually agrees with me. This is confirmed by the dog in question doing what I ask or totally ignoring me. I often remind him that he may be the boss of the other Doos, but I'm the boss of him. I get the impression that he is saying to himself, "yeah, right".


Lotto(11 yrs): The sweetest little old girl in the world. She is petite if chubby  (takes after mama) little blk/white Dal lady. She is the mother of 3 of the other Doo's. She is Sunny's mate and my soulmate. Lotto rules the roost and and that does include Sunny. She has given in to a life of hanging out on the bed (usually with her butt on my pillow) eating rawhide chews and occasionally barking at imaginary sounds or just for the hell of it. She is the poster child for ODA (old dog attitude) which is a condition that any person living with an older dog will recognize immediately. It is recognized by the general attitude of "I'm an old dog and I'll do as I please and what are you going to do? answer: nothing". This is accompanied  by walking at an extremely slow pace except when a treat or car ride is involved. Another symptom is selective hearing, as in "I can't hear you because I'm an old dog", but open a bag of chips 2 blocks away and you will see the speed of light defined. The last symptom is a classic. It is the "I cant get off the____ (fill it in with a word such as bed, couch,etc.) because I'm an old dog and might hurt myself". This however is contrasted by the height the same dog can jump to get up on said bed or couch. Lotto is a classic example of this. She sleeps with me on the bed and insists that she spoon me under the covers with the twist that her butt is facing my head. Lotto also has a farting problem. Of course it's no problem for her. I try to respond by farting on her but my butt is not in her face and she just doesn't care. I want to come back as an old dog!


Riggins (7 yrs): Now this is a character! He is Lotto's and Sunny's son and Siren's littermate. Riggins was born 5 hours after the other pups in his litter and I worried that he would have problems because of it. That was before I had lived with him and came to realize that that was just his way. There is an old saying "no matter what the band played, he danced to Stardust". That is a very good description of Riggins. He has his own way of living life and one of the ways is by having the most annoying high and consistent bark. He has no respect for any of the other Doos except for his mother, Lotto, who will kick his ass in a heartbeat and Sunny who he constantly sucks up to. Other than that he pretty much is a normal dog. Although I admit that I don't know what a normal dog is, never having lived with one. He is the sweetest boy on earth, but he knows he will never be the alpha. Instead, he likes to boss his sisters and brother around until they push back. He loves to play with toys and his favorite toys are a roll of toilet paper or a roll of paper towels. Give him one of these and you will see a very happy dog but you will also have a blizzard in your living room. No big pieces mind you, very small pieces and a lot of them. You know the kind. The ones that are on the floor and the vacuum cleaner won't pick up  So, you bend over after running the vacuum over it 10 or 12 times refusing to give in and you find that it isn't super-glued to the rug but just a small light weight scrap of paper towel. Riggins is never ashamed of himself and is usually very proud of his decorating abilities and somewhat annoyed that you don't share his tastes. When that fails he will put on his "It wasn't me attitude" As a finishing note we have this invisible "bad dog" that comes to our house and does all the bad things that get blamed on the Doos. The "bad dog" is especially fond of counter cruising, paper shredding and tearing up the trash.


Siren (7 yrs): Toe-Toes is what she goes by. This is Riggin's littermate and where you see one you will see the other. Toe-toes came by that nickname because when she was just a little puppy (2 or 3 weeks old) and I would hold her and pet her she would pull her toes up. She takes a lot after her her mother. She is sweet and gentle and a great dancer. Her dance consists of getting down low and curving herself into a "U" and wagging her butt while she shuffles her front feet and then abruptly changing direction and doing it all over again. When she gets really excited between changing direction she will get up on her hind legs and wave her front paws side to side. Toes loves everybody especially puppies. She is another snuggle-bug (with out the farting, but I'm assuming given time she will take after her mother). She is a beautiful blk/white Dal girl with absolutely the blackest eyes and the sweetest face. She is one of those "good" dogs who doesn't chew shoes or tear up paper and is a very hard act to follow. She is obedient. She's like that kid in class or a brother or sister who never got into trouble and you hated. But as for me I'll snuggle my Toe-toes anytime.


Mira (6 1/2 yrs):  What can I say about Mira. She is Sunny and Lotto's daughter and a full sister to Riggins and Siren. Mira came from an "oops" litter. She is an absolutely beautiful blk/white girl who looks like her father Sunny and displays some of his most annoying traits. Of course unlike Sunny, Mira hates everybody including other dogs.  Of course this doesn't include her family. Her best friend is her brother Sunfire (we'll get to him in a minute). Mira was born with an attitude. Her father Sunny thinks the world revolves around Mira. She's the only dog I've ever seen who can walk into Sunny's crate and take his bone without incident. She doesn't mess with her mother Lotto because again  she will kick her ass in a heartbeat as will her sister Siren. No wonder she has an attitude.  Mira's nick name is "Mouse" or "Foo-foo Mouse". Now I know that you are thinking "this woman has lost her mind". True as that may be, it has nothing to do with her nickname, and if you see my mind will you please send it home. All the Doos have a song of their own. Mira's is "Bunny Foo Foo". There is a line in the song that says that Bunny Foo Foo sees a little mouse and bops it on the head. Again when Mouse was a very small puppy, (a couple of weeks old) I would sing the song to her and when we came to the part where Bunny Foo Foo bops the mouse, she would duck her head. To answer what you  are thinking, No, I didn't bop her on the head, I would kiss the top of her head. Anyway, that's how she got her name.


Sunfire (3 yrs): This is the baby of the pack. He gets no respect from anyone and it's beginning to piss him off. Sunfire is Sunny's son from a planned incestuous relationship. Let me put it this way, his aunt is his mother and his uncle is his father. Sunny and Merica (Sunfire's mother) are only half brother and sister. Sunfire is an extremely handsome and correct male Dal. He came to live with us when he was 4 months old. The first thing that everyone did  from Lotto down was to roll him in the dirt and give him a growl. Thus confirming his pack order. In this case it was bottom dog. Mira was so glad to see him because now she had someone to pick on. Sunfire is the heir apparent, but Sunny is not about to let that go easily. Hence Sunfire and Sunny can not be out together. Everyone in the pack has a job. Mine is kibble hunter, Sunny runs the pack, Lotto is Queen Bee, Riggins job is to suck up to Sunny, Siren is the groomer and Mira was the lookout and sentry (perfect for her personality). All members of the pack have had this job when they were the youngest. So Mira naturally thought that she would pass it on to Sunfire and move on to better things. Wrong! She didn't count on Sunfire's lack of interest in the job. Try as she may, he wouldn't do it. Two and a half years later his only job is head goober. Of course Mira and he became BFF (if you don't know what it means, go ask an 8 year old). She is still the sentry and now Sunfire gallops around with her trying to pretend to be interested. If the truth was told, an axe murderer could be in the yard and Sunfire wouldn't sound the alarm. We don't rely on Sunfire for our safety. 

Getting older has it drawbacks. I'm becoming my grandfather. When he would try to address one of us he would go through the whole list of names and wind up with "whoever you are". I find my self doing that. I also sometimes call Sunfire, "Sunflower". No that is not and affectionate nickname, I'm old and I get confused. The result of which is that Sunfire now answers to "Sunflower" or "whoever you are".