Beam me up Maslan

I mentioned Maslan Ofman (I'm not sure about the spelling but if you see my friend Joni ask her, she is up on stuff like that). Speaking of Joni, one night we were at her house drinking wine and surfing the alternative websites and came upon a post about Ms Ofman. It stated that she was employed by the UN in the position of "Ambassador of Interplanetary Relations". In other words, she is the welcome wagon lady for any aliens who happen to drop by the hood.  When you were a kid, do you remember drinking milk and some other kid would say something outrageous and you would spit milk out your nose? Well this was one of those moments except it was wine. We started to dig through some posts that people had created and the more we read and the more wine we drank the funnier it got. It seems that the United Nations, who is located in New York so guess who is paying the tab for this, decided that just in case some aliens decided to make a neighborly (or not) call to say "Hi", we needed an official greeter. Now this woman is no slouch, she has a PhD from some university in India,. Now is that prestigious or what! Anyway, her job is basically to hang out and wait for the aliens and then if they are friendly she will show them around New York City and maybe get them good seats at a play on Broadway. I made up the part about showing them around, nobody ever said what her job was beyond greeting them. Now the question came to us during this wine drinking and laughing, exactly how do you apply for this job? How much does it pay and what qualifications you need to be considered. Now we all agree that this is the lamest job on the face of the planet. There was no hoop-de-do when she took that office and exactly where is Hilary Clinton in all this??

After thinking about this for awhile I gathered a few thoughts on this. First off, it would take some ungodly amount of time for the aliens to get here, something like 85 million years to get here. Secondly, if they are so technologically savvy that they can get here what can we offer them? Brings to mind an old Twilight Zone where the aliens landed and had a big book called "Serving Man". They got all these people to get on a space ship headed to their home planet and then you found out that the book was really a cookbook. Get it, Serving Man? Besides us being intellectually amoebas next to them, why would they pick this place to come to? What, not enough pollution and war on their own planet? Maybe this would be like some primitive amusement park. Besides which can you see them landing and trotting down Fifth Avenue asking, where do I find Maslan Ofman? So lets see how this works out. We have people starving and disease is spreading and governments are collapsing and we don't have money for any of that  but I'd like to see the check Dr Ofman gets on payday.Bet she makes a lot more than a Walmart greeter and they actually have to greet people.

Okay, if some of you do some research  on her and find out more info, let me know and I'll post it. Or better yet, post it in the comments section so we all can enjoy it. You should be able to sleep better tonight knowing that the UN has posted someone on watch so those sneaky aliens can't just glide on in without having to deal with the likes of Maslan...